Thursday, June 5, 2014

An Apology (The First of Many)

I sincerely hope that I'm not the only person looking at this page that can relate to this, but there is always that chance . . .

Ever since my first year of university (but perhaps long before then), I've had problems with my own levels of anxiety and while sometimes it doesn't surface enough to bother me it will suddenly reappear, like how it has over the past couple of weeks, to the point where it's getting in the way of my enjoying everyday life.

It's been about 2 years since I've had my anxiety really and truly get in the way of things. For those who don't themselves or don't know anybody that suffers from the occasional bout of anxiety may have a hard time understanding this, but those that experience the same problem will be able to relate to what I've been going through. Over the past couples weeks it's been downright crippling, and it's kept me from doing things I really enjoy doing, such as blogging.

Many wise people, including my mother, have told me that once something you love becomes a chore, there's no more fun left to be had in it. For example, when I was in high school I dreamed of being a video editor, but soon I was the go-to video person at my school, editing videos for school projects and it got to the point where I didn't enjoy it anymore; it was just another awful example of homework.

My blog, however, has not become the same thing to be. I enjoy writing here so much! I love the feeling of receiving a pleasant comment or a tweet or even just a +1 on Google+ from somebody who has read one of my posts and enjoyed it. That's why not being able to write in a while has added even more stress and guilt. I want to be a better blogger, and that requires practice and dedication. I've also been wanting to expand further into video and start up my own personal channel, which I've been attempting to do for a month or so, but it seems that my anxiety has been the biggest obstacle.

Today is a day where I'm feeling a bit better, and while I don't have time to delve into a real post today, I wanted to give you guys an update on what's been happening, and what will be coming in the future. I have another How To post in the works, and I'll be doubling up my snail mail and photo posts to include for the missed weeks. This weekend is also Niagara Falls Comic Con, which I'm unbelievably excited for! I'll definitely be taking enough picture so that I can tell you guys all about it. The best-case scenario for Comic Con would be for me to write a post here, write an article for PaperDroids, and to still be able to have a while whack of fun! I've been working diligently on minor details of my cosplay this week, and I'll be including pictures very soon.

So there's a silver lining! Things should become a lot brighter in the future, even if anxiety still has quite a grip on me. It's something I work to overcome everyday, and I hope I'll be able to continue to bring you guys new content on a regular basis.

I couldn't resist including this picture XD

That's it for life updates! I'll keep you guys posted!


  1. Anxiety's horrible. Mine has been really bad lately too. I've mostly been able to keep up with my blog, but it has kept me from being able to write fiction for quite awhile now. Like you said, it's annoying because to get better you need to practice, but when anxiety's messing with you, you just can't do it.

    I hope you keep feeling better. I know anxiety's hard to deal with. :)

  2. As another blogger with anxiety/depression, I totally feel you! Don't put pressure on yourself to post when you're not feeling it. If I've learned anything, it's that I don't put out good work when I'm not okay emotionally. Your readers will always forgive you - your health comes first :)